Jonathan Hooker

Assertiveness Exercise #2


The Following Statements are either Passive or Aggressive. Mark the space provided with a ‘P’ or an ‘A’?

1. Expressing feelings openly and honestly. ___

2. Mixing (and being accepted equally easily), with peers, work superiors and subordinates, at work and socially. ___

3. Speaking your mind openly, even if it may give offence to others ___

4. Being manipulated by other people. ___

5. Seeing the other person’s point of view in arguments and discussions. ___

6. Preferring to give subtle hints to people about your wishes. ___

7. Keeping other people waiting without any apology or explanation. ___

8. Getting bad food or service in a restaurant corrected without a fuss, and faulty goods replaced without a fuss. ___

9. Getting angry and telling someone off when they push in front of you in a queue. ___

10. Keeping your temper when other people attack you. ___

11. Finding a resolution to a problem caused by someone else without damaging relationships. ___

12. Keeping quiet when someone pushes in front of you in a queue. ___

13. Keeping quiet, or only complaining to your friends or colleagues, when you get poor service in a restaurant. ___

14. Answering the telephone in the middle of a conversation with someone. ___

15. Telling people who annoy you to shut up. ___

16. Finding yourself doing extra ‘voluntary’ tasks that you do not really want to do. ___

17. Resolving differences with people, by raising them and discussing them. ___

18. Avoiding confronting people because you have to work with them tomorrow, and you do not want to upset or anger them. ___

19. Criticising and openly finding fault with others. ___

20. Launching a verbal attack in response to being attacked. ___

21. Changing your mind to go along with the majority or a powerful group. ___

22. Asking someone calmly for the money that they owe you. ___

23. Believing in “Anything for a quiet life”. ___

24. Feeling that if you are reasonable with other people you will probably end up giving something away. ___

25. Trying to get ‘one-up’ on people. ___

26. Finding it difficult to cope with aggressive verbal behaviour from others. ___

27. Correcting people who push into a queue in front of you in a calm even voice. ___

28. Making excuses when you are verbally attacked. ___

29. Regarding yourself as someone who “does not suffer fools gladly”. ___

30. Helping others to sort out their own problems rather than imposing a solution. ___

31. Finding yourself staring other people down. ___

32. Describing yourself as ‘blunt and to the point’. ___

33. Finding it difficult to stand up to people in authority. ___

34. Getting into arguments with people and leaving them unresolved. ___

35. Believing that ‘attack is the best form of defence’. ___

36. Dealing with your own concerns and the concerns of others openly rather than ignoring them or changing the subject. ___

37. “Suffering in silence”. ___

38. Losing your temper with someone. ___

39. Being ready to complain if you get bad service or food in a restaurant. ___